As a mother we experience many, many emotional rollercoaster days.
During pregnancy when your hormones rule all judgement and descision. Theres weighloss or gain, theres arguments, there seems like there is a regular pattern when tear ducks betray you. Theres fear of the unknown but there is so much joy. The feeling of your childs first kicks, the first ultrasound finally being able to see your child and then theres birth.
My birthing story is a horrible experience; it started off with me being very overdue and needing induction it took 3 days! Once things started rolling and my water had been broken the contractions began. You get your moments of breat but it feels only a second of respite for the pain. After 14 hours of labour i was told that my body could not handle pushing out such a big baby, now, i am maori samoan, 6ft1, and big build. You could imagin my response. So now iv have an epidural in my spine to which i didnt want and another contraction kicks in and i have a window of pain on my left side. They did it wrong! I had to get a second dose of the epidural to cover that one spot of pain.
Now the doctors and the nurses are wheeling me out the give me and emergency c-section because my son and i were under too much stress. They started the operation immediately and as they were doing this i was in and out of consciousness. They took my baby out of me and i did not hear a sound. My son wasnt breathing and the nurse was giving cpr. I started shaking from the loss and i let go into darkness thinking he was gone. I came too when a weight was on my chest.
The doctor looked at me and said ” we nearly lost you both, you didnt have a pulse for 5 whole minutes”. Im still shaking and and they took my baby out to my huband to hold while they sew me up.
The stitching up took 3 hours and the docs wouldnt let me go unconscious again. I could feel the tugging of my insides and asked them what happened they said ” you needed extra cuts to get your kid out there are 3 extra cuts on each side of your stomach, we couldnt take out the baby with out them, his head was still lodged in your pelvic area and needed to be pulled out backwards”.
And now the after birth. I stayed in the hospital for a week due to my operation and they said i was not allowed to sleep with my child (now i am in constant pain and had a button to push for morphine at certain times, and i cant move). I asked the nurse if they can scedual someone to come in and put my son in his cot because im bed stricken and they said no. I was like. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! You give me these damn cuts now you wont help me?!
I went 1 week without sleep and it was hard my husband visited every day to give me a bit of rest but it just didnt cut it. I left the hospital to go home (thank god) and slept just as much as a new born baby does. Months pass and i have still got restricted movement but i did not care for that because i had my health baby boy to love.
Now my son is 2 in november and i couldnt love anything more then my little crazy child. Everything i wen through, every tear, scar, and every pain was worth it.
Now i just have to get onto losing the freaking weight!!!!!